I wrote here on Friday that I was going for a mini adventure.
This adventure was very beautiful, except for an hour in my life that will probably be one of the most traumatic experiences I will ever have. I’m already laughing about it, because it ended well, so I thought I should share it with you:
Where do I start?
Johan and I spent Friday in Leipzig, Johan working and me taking a long walk before helping him and my friends at their new restaurant. Late in the evening we checked in to our hotel close by. All good, brushed my teeth and went to bed. Didn’t notice which room number I was in, but OK – was just going to sleep and get up to work in the morning. Thing is, in our Berlin flat we have coal heating and now that it’s so freezing cold here, I get up twice a night to fill the coal oven with coal. This is what I thought I had to do at one point at night, in the hotel. So I found myself waking up in the hotel corridor, all naked. I had sleep walked. And didn’t know which room number I had. And I was completely naked. You’ve all had those nightmares, right? I was living this nightmare.
So I checked the emergency plan, as good as I could see without my glasses. I was not just completely naked, I was half blind as well. I found a room on the plan, which looked like my room, and knocked on the door. I knocked and knocked and a lady opened, looked very angry and I apologized, she looked at me from top to toe and shut the door with a BANG. I went back to the emergency plan and there were so many rooms looking like my room and I decided to give one more room a try. So I knocked, but didn’t dare to knock as much because I didn’t want to make more people angry. I wish I would have continued, because I was at the right door this time.
And then I started to freeze like crazy. There was nothing around, the storage room for linens and towels was of course locked, so I thought OK, I have to find the lobby. So, half blind, I found a staircase which I saw through the glass door of my hotel corridor. Went out in the staircase, the door closed behind me, I was on the 6th floor, and started my naked freezing walk downstairs. The staircase only led to a basement with a barred door, no lobby in sight. The windows were locked and I started walking up again, because I needed to move due to freezing like crazy. Found an alarm, with a glass that I had to break with my thumb. Nothing happened, no alarm sounded, no alarm lamp was blinking. I tried to clean up the glass in the corner of the floor so I wouldn’t hurt my feet. I walked up to my floor, starting to bang on the glass door like crazy. Broke another alarm glass and nothing happened. I banged on that door even more, no one woke up. There was a proper fire alarm, but I didn’t want to push it because then they would have to evacuate the whole hotel. Lesson: Stop being such a pleaser, Sandra!
I was banging on that door until my wrists were completely sore. This is when I started to give up, so I started to accept that I would be stuck there until someone would find me. So I lied down on the stone floor of that staircase. Lied there for half a minute or so until I realized I wouldn’t get out of this alive. Was shaking of cold, and I got angry. I started banging on that glass door again until my hand was bleeding and the pleaser in me started cleaning the blood that was all over the place. Then I got even more angry, panicking of course, and kicked the door as heavily as I could without breaking more skin, until a woman woke up, got up and found me. Thank you SO MUCH, stranger! I’m so sorry! I begged for a towel or something similar. She gave me one, just barely covering my intimate parts, and I walked to the elevator to find the lobby.
When I came down to the lobby, the staff was there – a guy and a girl. I almost cried, asking Why doesn’t the alarm work? and they said they were just going to come look for me. I had been in this staircase for over half an hour, someone must have called the lobby about the noise I was making, because the alarms definitely didn’t work – I used two of them. Anyway, the staff asked about my bleeding hand and I apologized for the blood stains (Come on! I broke my hand, I was locked inside of a staircase thinking I wasn’t going to make it alive, what is wrong with me, a few blood stains?!), gave me a key and I went back to the elevator. Pressed the button to floor 6, leaned back to relax and breathe and of course my ass touched buttons behind me so I pushed the buttons to all floors, which made the elevator stop on every fucking floor, but that was a small thing compared to the trauma I had for almost an hour in that corridor and in that staircase. I’m probably still in shock, because this all feels so surreal and will probably count as one of my worst experiences ever.
In the end, I found my way to the room, Johan had been sleeping the whole time and was awaken by a shaking, crying Sandra. Then I started to laugh, cry, laugh, cry, it was all so unreal.
Imagine if a kid would get stuck in this staircase. In the morning when I was wearing my glasses, I saw a tiny sign on the door to the staircase saying This door doesn’t lead to the lobby. It only led to a barred door, what do you do if there is a fire? You’d be stuck forever. How can this even exist, Ibis Budget Leipzig City?
On top of it all, I went to the toilet in the bus back to Berlin. The handle fell off and I was stuck in that toilet as well. Luckily Johan heard me banging on the door like a freak. What else is there to do but laugh at this point?
I’m safe at home now. Living one of my worst nightmares for real maybe cures me from having those nightmares at night about being naked in public and/or trapped inside of a place? Let’s hope so.